4/06/2020 –                                                                      GRIEF TALK
 
Throughout a lifetime one may experience various types of circumstances that bring a flood of emotions, thoughts and behaviors. Based on our world culture and views of expected conduct, sometimes those emotions, thoughts and or behaviors seem abnormal to others and perhaps even to ourselves.
 
I’m hoping that in sharing some information with you comfort is your portion and access to increased support. In the past 5 decades
of my life, I’ve learned that in times of crisis, loss, tragedy, and trauma, our spirit, soul (mind, will, emotions), and body can go through shock and absorb the impact inwardly of the outward experiences. Our spirit, soul and body have been created/made to function at a certain state of equilibrium/balance.
 
Every part of who we are affects the other and if any are out of balance then are ability to accomplish day to day activities can be difficult. Let’s look a little deeper into what grief might appear as on a short/long term basis.
   G – loomy
   R – emorseful
   I -nternalization
   E-mpty
   F- aithless
 
An approach to moving forward is called Sozo. Sozo is a Greek word for salvation. We all need salvation/shelter, protection, healing, wholeness. Sozo at its core is meant to provide wellness. I like to remember it in the following way;
   S-atisfaction
   O-ut of suffering
   Z- eal for life
   O-ptimized living
 
Let’s look deeper into Sozo. When the body has a physical wound, the healing process takes time and although there is a scar, no matter how faint it is the body keeps an account of the wound that once was visible. Our spirit and soul function in like manner and often we need assistance from others to administer first aid or a form of care that helps repair the wounded part of us.
 
This article is a Sozo tool to provide information to assist in the wellness of your inner being. Your inner being is central to the healing of your spirit and soul. In the words of Michelle Obama (the 44th First Lady of the U.S.A.) “when they go low, we go high”. When your emotions, spirit or body feels low, in hope and connecting with resources to support you going forward is good medicine.
 
Often we think of grief as the death of a loved one, and that is factual, However, there are many other types of loss marked by change blockers, emotional/physical triggers, numbness, substance abuse, over indulgence in work, living in the past, decreased motivation, uncertainty about the future, isolation, children acting out, fear, anxiousness, loneliness, separation, financial disruptions, sleeplessness, decreased appetite, confusion, uncontrollable crying, guilt, regrets, tiredness, lingering what if’s and there are many others you could add to this list as well.
 
In this period of social distancing and a worldwide health crisis, we are in this together. There are many persons who shall remain homebound after this current pandemic of Covid-19 is resolved. You are important, valuable and there is no one else on this earth
that can be you but you. God the creator of heaven and earth, Genesis 1:1, never makes a mistake and he knows from beginning to the end how to bring forth something when it looks like there is nothing that can be.
 
David Kessler was studied with Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and with the support of her family he has written a book Finding Meaning; The Sixth Stage of Grief. He identifies the following;
   Denial
   Anger
   Bargaining
   Depression
   Acceptance
 
*Meaning
The sixth stage of meaning allows for the transformation from grieving into something rich and fulfilling. The way one person experiences grief may be completely different than from another. Anger may come initially and then depression or you may be completely on auto pilot until all needed affairs handled, then later have a deep sensation of sorrow. Whenever grief happens it can
be like a wave or a flood of emotions, spiritual and or physical occurrences. Change in a forward direction is a healthy goal to have and achieving that goal may require supports.
 
Moving from the initial impact through time with a plan for the future often helps to track goal attainment. The below diagram shows an example of movement from grief stage 1 -5.
 

Books:
Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief by David Kessler (November 2019)
Grief: Living At Peace With Loss by June Hunt
(2013)
Grieve Rite: Moving From Mourning to Ministering by Kathryn McColskey & Susan C. Singleton (January 06, 2013)
Grief Support: a phone call away.
1-800-662-Help
Substance Abuse and mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) www.samhsa.gov

For further information, contact our New Dimension Worship Center, Grief Care Ministry POC, Karmin Jenkins LCWS-C (240) 415-8218